I’m not a fan of the holiday season. But I am a very big fan of trees. There’s something about the fresh smell of pine in your home that just makes you feel all warm and cozy. So at the time of year when society not only encourages but makes it possible, I jump at the chance. Welcome to my New York Holiday Tree Trek Spectacular!
I’ll admit it’s a bit difficult without owning a car.
Living in New York City, there’s plenty of opportunity to snag a tree. Nearly every other street corner has a pile of pine pre-wrapped and ready. For an extra fee, somebody will even deliver it to your door. But the prices! Even if you handle your own delivery, the average price for a decent sized piece of greenery is $150. And who knows when they were cut, so who knows when they’ll dry out?
My solution is a bit… unconventional.
Far out on Long Island, there are a couple farms advertising Cut-Your-Own for a flat fee of around $40. Extra if you need to borrow a saw.
I have the good fortune of having access to a saw. I also have the good fortune of knowing someone on the island willing to pick me up from the nearest train station. Also required for this solution are muscles, time, and a willingness to look ridiculous on mass transit.
That last I have in spades.
Since tree farms tends to be spread out across multiple fields, and to stop all the ‘good trees’ from being snagged near the entrance, you’ll likely start by hopping on a tractor for a brief jaunt. There will be a few pre-chopped and wrapped trees near the entrance, but that wouldn’t be in the spirit of “chop your own” now would it?
Give any potential tree a good hard 360 look. Before you get to work on the trunk, saw off a few of those base-branches at the very bottom. Not only will it help you get a better angle to cut the trunk (your unbruised knuckles will thank you), it’ll make the tree lighter when you carry it out.
While you’re being a lumberjack, you’ll likely see the tractor circle around. Once you’ve called “Timber!” make for the closest place you last saw it. Not only does it haul people, it will also haul your quarry straight to the front gate. Each tree gets a numbered ticket to avoid those, “Hey, that’s my tree!” “No it isn’t!” moments. If you have a mind to, take a quick photo of your ticket receipt. You might lose that slip of paper, but you aren’t going to lose your phone!
Personally, the one armed carry works for anything shorter than I am. Depending on the size of your tree and the size of you, other tactics are possible. Plenty of people double up or use wagons. If you’re polite and ask very nicely (and maybe hand out some extra cash) you can always ask for help.
There is no rule against trees on the Long Island Rail Road. I have checked extensively.
You’ll get some looks, but I’ve never run into any problems with anybody on the LIRR or in Penn Station. The officials barely glance your way. Locals and tourists might goggle a bit, you might even be photographed, but the most common reaction I received were smiles and surprised laughter.
If you are utilizing the shoulder carry, be careful not to reenact any “Three Stooges” moments. Be aware of your surroundings and courteous of your fellow humans of all sizes. Nobody wants a branch to the face. You are the one with the giant tree (no matter how small it is), so you automatically get last priority. Let everybody else go in front of you, walk to the side of the hallways and sidewalks, and if there isn’t much room left on the elevator or subway, take the next one.
Sitting down on the subway while carrying a tree is possible, but I wouldn’t recommend it. My favorite position is wrapping my arm around the pole while holding the crown in my hand. It helps to not have any excess luggage while you’re doing this. I keep it to a backpack and/or a single bag.
Getting through the subway turnstyles is a feat! Is it easier to just use the door? Of course! But if your branches aren’t too fluffy and the wrappings are nice and tight, you should be able to slip through.
Don’t have a contact in the area? No worries!
Lewin Farms is a 15min drive from the Long Island Rail Road Manorville Station, and a 10min drive from the Hampton Jitney Calverton Terminal. Be kind and bring a tarp, plastic sheet, or even a couple large garbage bags to keep the needles from spreading in the trunk.
Check their website for this year’s dates when you can pick your own tree, pumpkins, apples, have other farm fun, and their current prices.
EDIT: And check out my tree treks from other years: 2016